This excerpt originally appeared in the Sept. Subscribe to the magazine here. To be published on Sept. My body was still glowing with pleasure. This is way better than winning a race, I thought. This is better than competing in the Olympics. My old life with my parents and husband and daughter still waited for me in Wisconsin, but I went home less and less.
I was Kelly now, one of the most sought-after escorts in Vegas. Suzy, the former professional athlete, the Realtor, the wife, the mom—she had disappeared. Ceding control turned him on, in contrast to his daily life as the CEO of a major corporation.
I thought of my next appointment, later that night. Everything about being an escort was enjoyable. Not ever. As a child, I had a very active imagination, which made it nearly impossible for me to concentrate on reading or school. I had to be moving. If I was still, anxiety and self-doubt crept into my head. Suzy Favor Hamilton talks about her secret life as a Las Vegas escort. My family—my parents, older brother, two older sisters and I—lived near a small ski hill in Stevens Point, Wis.
My brother, Dan, raced competitively. He loved the speed and the adrenaline rush, and he chased the thrill of dangerous activities. The older he got, the more erratic his behavior became. His mood swings and aggressive behavior worsened. He was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder and given shock treatment and lithium. After the treatment he self-medicated with liquor. One day when I was 12 and he was 18, my mom and I found him passed out, clutching an empty vodka bottle. Another time my dad found Dan, drunk, pointing a shotgun at his head.
No one in my family talked about these anguishing scenes, and a shadow crept over our house. To me, ours was a family of secret pain. I wanted to make up for it. I decided to be perfect. When I discovered running, I loved that it was so pure, just my body and me. But I was already faster than most of the boys, too. I wanted to win, but I hated not being able to blend in. The accolades that came with track made my parents proud. I saw that I could distract them from their stress and fears about Dan.
